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Name: Jayne Lee Mei Ying
Age: 16 years old
Date of Birth: June 29th 1992
Location: Malaysia

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Thursday, April 17, 2008
From Deep Down
7:27 PM

Here's how I feel about you, right now:

Every time, I see a guy who looks more physically attractive than you are, I just think of you instead. And I think that I don't care that they have muscles and better hair. I think that I'd rather have you put your arm around me, and walk hand-in-hand with you down the beach.

You seem to understand everything about me, in so many ways. When I see your replies, I giggle, and suddenly, my whole day is so much better. I want to know everything there is to know about you; I gather every little detail because it just makes me love you more.

I wonder all the time what you think of me. I wonder if I'm good enough for you, sometimes. I don't want you to know how I feel, because if you don't feel the same way, it'd be awkward, and I can't do that to you.

I wish waiting to see you again wouldn't be so long. I'm sad that you haven't said anything in nearly a month now. Every day, I feel tempted to shout "Where are you?!" on your wall. I wish my mom wasn't able to see everything I do.

And eventhough, I feel all these different things, I'm still unsure. Is this real or fake? Am I making the same mistake again? Is this just me being me, always wanting to believe the impossible? I don't know.

And who knows? It might be years and years, before I ever even see you again. If you don't know how I feel, and you don't feel that way, why would you wait? I wouldn't. So, maybe I should just bury how I feel, back inside me, again.

But, now I can feel the tears pricking my eyes. And I don't know why they're there, too.